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Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Are you and your fiancé sticking to the traditional vows or getting a little more creative and writing your own wedding vows? If you choose to write your own, or do a combination of the two, we’ve got some tips for you for how to write the perfect wedding vows!

1. Get On The Same Page As Your Fiancé

Get together with your fiancé and decide on the basic tone of your vows. Will they be funny, serious, romantic, or a mix? You don’t want your partners vows to be super romantic and heartfelt, but you thought the vows would be funny so yours are peppered with jokes. This is also a good way to communicate any expectations you have about what should or should not be in your vows. Also, be sure to discuss the length of your vows so one of you doesn’t recite a short paragraph while the other recites an entire book. 

2. Look At Examples For Inspiration 

Find some examples of vows you like and try to use those same elements. Are the vows funny? Short and sweet? Sentimental and emotional? Try to mirror what really pulls at your heart strings or feels like it really represents you and your relationship. Written vows are great for inspiration, but videos are even better. If you’ve already hired your videographer, use their website as a resource to listen to other couples who wrote their own vows. Listening to vows from real couples is super helpful because you can see how their partner reacts and how the audience reacts; What worked and what didn’t. 

3. Make Promises 

This is the whole reason they’re called vows! One easy way to make meaningful promises is to pull from the traditional vows. Promise to love your spouse for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, till death do you part. Don’t be afraid to add in some of your own promises as well. Promises like, “I promise to choose you every minute of everyday” or “I promise to never stop dancing with you.” You could even slip in a fun quote from a movie you both love! 

4. Say “I Love You”

Don’t forget to say “I love you!” Yes, we know this is obvious, but it’s actually easy to forget when you’re so focused on writing the other parts of your vows! These three little words are so important to include. They may be simple, but they are definitely needed. 

5. Don’t Be Too Anything

Your vows shouldn’t be too funny or casual, or your parter and guests may think you’re not taking it seriously. They shouldn’t be too serious or emotional; keep it somewhat lighthearted and fun! Your vows shouldn’t have too many inside jokes, or they could be confusing to your guests. Not to mention the fact that when you’re watching your wedding video 50 years down the road, you may not be able to remember those inside jokes! Basically, don’t be too anything. Mix it up! After a joke, be sweet and sentimental. If you’ve spent the last minute making your partner tear up, spend the next minute making them laugh. 

6. Use Vow Books

Purchase his and hers vow books to write your vows in. During the ceremony, this looks much better than a sheet of paper or notecards. They’re also more visually appealing for photos and videos. And, you can get your photographer to take a pretty “details” shot of your vow books! In addition, vow books are much easier to keep track of and harder to misplace than a random sheet of paper. Plus, they become a meaningful keepsake for years to come! 

Writing your own wedding vows can seem very intimidating at first, but if you write from your heart to the love of your life, the words will eventually come. Don’t be worried about making them super long- your vows don’t need to be any longer than a minute or two. Be true to yourself and your relationship and don’t be afraid to include humor, emotion, and quotes that are meaningful to your relationship. No matter what your vows say, we guarantee your partner will love hearing you vow your commitment to them in your own words.